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🏆 Idiot of the Month — April 2026
Matt
📍 Penn
Pushing 70 but has a metal age of a child. Very rude at golf especially when he is losing which is often. You can’t help feeling sorry for him though....
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TOTAL VOTES
The Official Village Idiot Register
4 certified idiots on record · Maintained since 1312 · Updated whenever the clerk wakes up
📍 Penn
💻 Technology Bafflement
Official Evidence of Idiocy
Pushing 70 but has a metal age of a child. Very rude at golf especially when he is losing which is often. You can’t help feeling sorry for him though.
Derek "Dangerous" Dimbleby
📍 Little Snoring, Norfolk
Official Evidence of Idiocy
Tried to microwave a metal pot to "speed up the soup", then argued with the fire brigade that it was the microwave's fault for "not handling pressure well". Has since microwaved 3 more metal items "just to test the theory".
Brenda Botsworth
📍 Great Faffing, Lincolnshire
Official Evidence of Idiocy
Reported her own car stolen, had police searching for 4 hours, then remembered she'd parked it in her garage "for safety". Did the exact same thing the following Tuesday.
Gary "The Genius" Plonk
📍 Upper Bumbling, Shropshire
Official Evidence of Idiocy
Installed a cat flap in the front door to "let the breeze in" and was baffled when cats started arriving. Doesn't own a cat. Currently feeding 11 of them.
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